I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
