Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Porn is love you can see.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
