Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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