The maid of honor just puked.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
