Cold hands, warm shart.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
