so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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