the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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