ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize