Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
