Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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