I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
