My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
