Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
