So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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