He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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