I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
