Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
