i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
