Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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