I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
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