Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
