First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
is it fun? or sober?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
