My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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