That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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