guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
