What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
