Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
