it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize