Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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