I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
