i think i have herpe
just one?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
