But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
FUCK WHALES
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
