I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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