I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
