I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
