We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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