Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
