I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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