i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
