My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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