Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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