i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
My pussy is not your playground.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I believe in your delicious
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
