he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Of course I have a pirate flag
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
