i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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