What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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