Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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