I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
