woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize