i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
