It's Friday. Sex?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
