i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
