I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She's the barista slut.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
