umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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