You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
