everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
