I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you didnt know i had herpes?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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