i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
