the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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