girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
