my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
