you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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