I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize