Heybabeimwearingurpanties
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
