she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize