You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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