My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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