We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
